Horoscopes for May 2015

Aries - You will be ambushed by a surprise quiz, but the odds will be in your favour!

Taurus - On the 30th, fans will start to riot in the streets and One Direction will be forced back together. There will probably be water guns, torches, and tears involved. 

Gemini - The squirrel will revive and haunt Glenview’s transformers for 450 years, blessing panthers with 3 periods off

Cancer - Someone you know will say “eyebrows on fleek”, please try and contain your horror

Leo - You will probably enter the main office to gather a late slip on the 13th

Virgo - IDK who but someone is bound to goof

Libra - You will hear Uptown Funk 1 million times

Scorpio - You will probs swallow a spider

Sagittarius - As an average Canadian teen, only 70% of you will actually complete homework

Capricorn - Someone from your past will look you up on instagram

Aquarius - You will find that m&m you dropped in B112 last April, and enjoy it

Pisces - Long lost grandpa on your mom’s side, thrice removed, 8th generation Canadian, will find you and tell you that you are adopted